Village Hall supper

Plenty of advanced notice that St Margaret’s Village Hall Committee have fixed the date for the annual supper for 24th September 2011.  The theme has yet to be officially announced but the Blog’s stringers say that it may have something to do with rowing all depends upon how you pronounce it (Ed)

Illegal development

An interesting but alarming situation is developing on Horsington Marsh.  If you drive from Horsington to Buckhorn Weston you will see, if you look left just after you turn right out of Batchpool Lane on to Moor Lane, that 2 green shipping containers have arrived to join the caravan that has been sitting in the field for some months.  A large hole has also appeared in the hedge making a new access.  It seems that Masha Estates who operate from Barry in South Wales have, quite legitimately, purchased the 22 acre field at auction: however what they are trying to do with it is at best immoral and, at worst, illegal.  If you look at their website http://www.mashaestates.com/index.php?option=content&task=view&id=135 you will see that they are selling 400-500 square metre plots with the inference that, at some point in the future, these will be serviced with roads (see the small map) and may be able to be built upon.  However caveat emptor for the small print at the bottom of the page says

Masha Estates Ltd do not operate a Collective Investment Scheme as defined in Section 235 of the United Kingdom Financial Services and Markets Act 2000. Masha Estates Ltd do not provide planning permission, estate management or any such related services on behalf of purchasers. All Plots sold without the benefit on any current planning or development permission or any future guarantee thereof. Planning.
Head Office: Masha House, 47 Tynewydd Road, Barry, CF62 8AZ, UK, Company Reg No: 5475680

At least four plots appear to have already been sold to gullible investors who seem to be trying to proceed with some sort of development, hence the containers.

SSDC confirm that no planning permission has been granted and nor is likely that it ever will be.

not least because Horsington Marsh has that name for a good reason (Ed).

Fortunately Senior Enforcement Officer for SSDC, Mr Roger Wotton has been alerted to the situation and placed a Temporary Stop Notice of 28days on Masha and anyone else who is contemplating any sort of development.  What this means is that it is now a criminal offence for any further development to take place and the police will take action if alerted.  Mr Wotton now plans to implement a full Stop Notice and Enforcement Order and to explore any other legal remedies against Masha Estates and other parties.

So if you happen to be driving along the road, day or night, and see anything untoward happening please telephone the Police on 999 or 0845 4567000.

Masha Estates are definitely operating at the seedy end of the property market.  It’s just a shame that there are purchasers out there who are foolish enough to fall for their pitch and pay over £6,000 for a 500 square metre plot of land that can never be anything other than agricultural. If Masha are able to sell all the plots they will clear a cool million pounds over the purchase price.  The Blog certainly hopes that Masha catch an almighty cold and the wrath of those who have already parted with their money.

Remember.  If you see anything please ring the Police

Appeal against enforcement notice dismissed
 

Now you see it………………………

A magician worked on a cruise ship. The audience was different each week                           so the magician did the same tricks over and over again.

There was only one problem: The captain’s parrot saw the shows each
week and began to understand how the Magician did every trick.

Once he understood, he started shouting in the middle of the show,
“Look, Its not the same hat!” or, “Look, he’s hiding the flowers
under  the table!” Or “Hey, why are all the cards the ace of spades?”

The magician was furious but couldn’t do anything. It was, after
all, the Captain’s’ parrot.

Then one stormy night on the Pacific, the ship unfortunately sank,
drowning almost all who were on board.
The magician luckily found himself on a piece of wood floating in
the middle of the sea, as fate would have it … With the parrot.

They stared at each other with hatred, but did not utter a word.

This went on for a day… And then 2 days. And then 3 days. Finally
on the 4th day, the parrot could not hold back any longer and said…

“OK,  I give up: so where’s the ruddy ship?”

 

 

Beer festival postponed

The Half Moon’s Beer Festival has been postponed for the simple reason that there is so much else going on 18 June – The fete and the Barnados re-union to name but two.

Don’t panic. The pub will still sell beer. And everything else.

So it’s nothing to do with the fact that I said I had a prior engagement that day, then? (Ed)

Horsington wins a stunning victory against London invaders

Paul Mann & Ian Hervey
Paul Mann and Ian Hervey

The Sunday bank holiday cricket match against the Tabard Pilgrims from Chiswick, West London, resulted in a 4-run victory for Horsington, after a thrilling finish.

The home team opted for a 15-over,  two-innings format, with the batting order reversed in the second innings. This provided insurance against rain, and gave everyone a decent crack at batting. There were some thrilling catches and run-outs, numerous boundaries  and sixes and some “interesting” bowling. It was also enormous fun, and the good-natured game was enjoyed by both sides.

Ed and Dave White

The Pilgrims batted first and scored 116 for 9 wickets. Notable Horsington wicket takers were Nigel Cockerell and his son Jake, “Accurate” Dave and Ed White and Kevin Lane who, although he arrived late, took a wicket with the first ball he had bowled for two seasons

Horsington cricket match
"Snoopy" Bennett and Patrick Legge

Horsington responded with 107 for just 2 wickets,  Stuart Lane retiring with 50, his best score ever, with his father Kevin Lane backing him up well with 19.

Horsington elected to have their second innings straight after the(delicious) tea interval, and knocked up a 93 for 6.

The Pilgrims needed 85  to win, and 15 overs to get them. Their batsmen were pinned down by accurate bowling from Jake Cockerell and Paul Mann and were left needing 14, with two overs to go. Despite some desperate slogging, they failed to meet their target and handed Horsington a well-deserved victory.

Stuart & Kevin Lane
Big thanks to  everyone who helped – Rob Hoddinott for the

perfect pitch and imperial pavilion, Mardy Bennett, and Belinda Mann for the tea, Chris Bailward and Phil Bennett for umpiring,  (Chris also reared, cooked and carved the delicious hog roast after the game) and Andrew Tarling, who organised the whole thing.

Same time next year?

It was there a moment ago; Andrew Tarling prepares to walk

Start the month off with music – June 1st

The friendly and relaxed Half Moon Music Night continues on Wednesday the 1st June at around 8.45 p.m. in Horsington. Please come and join us to play, sing and say whilst enjoying a beer; it is completely free apart from the drinks. Further details from Anna 01963-370749.

Superinjunctions – Silas Silage named!

Horsington Blog - Silas SilageWe promised not to report any more on the superinjunction issue. But in a shocking development, our own SILAS SILAGE has been named in connection with the latest breaking scandal.  Something to do with his last visit to a girls school, perhaps? He denies it of course. To learn more, Click here

Bank Holiday Sunday just got better!

It looks like a bumper Bank Holiday in Horsington. Not only is there a cricket match in the afternoon. Not only are Bragatanga playing in the evening at the Half Moon. Now  Muddy Wallow Pigs will be providing a hog roast at the Half Moon after cricket on 29th May.  An inflation-beating £4.00 for a roll full of delicious rare breed pork,  bred and reared here in Horsington, with help yourself Apple Sauce and stuffing. Mmmm!

Superinjunction News

There has been much talk of superinjunctions in the blog bunker. Who has issued them? Is The Blog subject to them? What does the Mail on Sunday mean when it says actor Hugh Bonneville “is known to fellow thespians as the Ryan Giggs of the showbusiness world, after the famously family-orientated footballer”?

None of this has anything to do with Horsington of course, so we won’t be covering it. But if you want to know where most of the information currently in the newspapers is coming from, look here.

 

Silas Silage ventures into education

Silas Silage
“my unbraced trousers fall to my knees”
It’s never too early to get the young interested in Gardening, says Silas Silage, our resident green fingered guru.
One of the joys of gardening is the opportunity to share one’s expertise with the young. I learnt many tricks and wrinkles from my old grandad, and I never miss an opportunity to pass on my knowledge to the next generation.
A lot of your young people today could be rescued from a life of vandalism and racing around in cars, drinking cider and getting young ladies into trouble if they spent more time in the garden with an experienced older hand. (OK, we get the message –Ed).
From time to time I do a bit of gardening at a local private girls school, which gives me an ample opportunity to educate some very posh young ladies on Mother Nature’s ways. And delightful creatures they are, mostly.
I always dress appropriately when I go there as it’s important to be well turned out. I have some very natty camouflaged battle fatigues which I got from the Yeovil boot sale, and I must say I cut a fine military figure, although you have to be very sharp-eyed to see me, such is the  subtlety of the dappled medley of greens, browns and yellows.
This week the bursar, Major Carstairs, has asked me to have a go at the “bower”, a secluded leafy garden behind the swimming pool. There’s a wrought iron gate covered with ivy and a notice “Private – Upper VI Form only”.
I let myself in and my, what a beautiful sight. A close trimmed lawn,  and beautiful scented arrays of flowers, lavender, sage, elephant grass, climbing roses, neat box hedges  and some nice topiary on the privet, all set about with garden chairs and sun loungers. A statue of a man carrying a spear and wearing a sheet, with laurel leaves around his head stares at me.
It’s a hot day, and the bees are a buzzin’, so I prepare to take my customary pre-work forty winks before getting on with the weeding. There’s no-one about, so I crawl into the shade, ease my braces, take a quick peg of elderflower whisky, and shut my eyes.
I dream I am in heaven, with beautiful angels administering to my every need, bathing my temples and bringing me tasty treats, grapes and stuff.
I must have been asleep for some time, because I awake to the tinkling sound of young laughter. I open my eyes to realize I am surrounded by young ladies reading books and chatting,  and none of them are wearing anything but little string things round their bottoms. Wouldn’t do for Mrs Silage, that’s for sure.
Omigod, they’re virtually naked! Oh dear.  Oh dear me! Luckily they haven’t seen me.
Just then I gets a shooting cramp in my right leg. Must be the damp ground. I leap to my
feet with an agonized howl, grabbing my leg and hopping around like a mad thing. At the same moment my unbraced trousers fall to my knees. “It’s a man!”cries one of the girls, and they all take up the chorus like a treeful of jays. It’s a man! It’s a man!
One of them is on the phone. “It’s a man!” she cries.
Best to beat retreat. I grab my hoe and knapsack and begin hopping to the gate, trousers at half mast. Just then I hear a siren. Must be a fire somewhere.
I get to the gate, which is suddenly flung open to reveal a couple of blue uniforms ,and before I know where I am or can explain I find myself in the back of a squad car handcuffed to a large policewoman who…. (To be continued –Ed)