Horsington to declare war on Milborne Port in Twinning row?

An ugly spat has broken out between two Somerset villages over a controversial “Twinning” arrangement.

It was all the rage in the 1980’s to “twin” with a similar town in France or Germany, so all the bigwigs could go on expenses-paid “fact finding tours” and come back with loads of cheap (or even free) booze.

Milborne Port, famous for its, award-winning opera company, has gone one better and is twinned with Utopia, an island in the centre of the Pacific Ocean.

Now they are up in arms because Horsington wants to get in on the act.

It all started when the EU’s External Action Service (equivalent to the UK’s Foreign Office/Overseas Aid department) began throwing money at Utopia for wind farm development. Then, before you could say “Geoffrey Boycott”, they were giving grants to Utopia’s cricket school, and finally their tourism website.

Before long it was rumoured that leading citizens from Milborne Port were flying off to the Pacific and indulging in so-called “cultural exchanges”, the considerable cost of which was being borne by the EU. (And therefore YOU, the British Taxpayer –Ed)

Sure enough, Milborne Port  then announced that it was to stage a lavish production of Gilbert & Sullivan’s rarely-performed comic opera “Utopia Limited” in the village hall, a clear case of bribery,  favouritism, nepotism and patronage (Steady –Ed). The Opera is about what happens on a Pacific island when British management consultants get involved.

Horsington’s gripe is that a number of Milborne Port performers live, or have lived, in Horsington and believe that it  is deeply unfair that Horsington should miss out on a potential investment  and cultural bonanza. Chris Bailward, a longtime resident of Horsington and member of the MPO told the blog “If anyone who should go on all-expenses paid trips to the South Pacific during the wettest winter on record, it is us. It can be very damp on the Marsh.”

Neil Edwards, spokesperson for the Milborne Port Twinning Association responded angrily:” I cannot believe the cheek of Horsington to even attempt something like this. They’ve overstepped the mark. Milborne Port has a long standing tradition of twinning, already sharing links with  the town of Rederring which is on the border between Denmark and the UK and of course, Titipu, Japan. The Utopia Chamber of Commerce left me in no doubt that any approach from Horsington would be met with stern opposition there. If you ask me, Horsington should twin themselves with Brigadoon and disappear for a century”.

The blog has looked at the Utopia website and admits that Utopia is a fascinating place, well worth a visit

It even has its own celebrity magazine.

Several of the members of the ruling clique look strangely familiar. Click on the image on the left to enter the website.

1 April 2014