I’m a Banker, Get Me Out of Here! Fred Goodwin and assorted bankers in competition with angry punters trying to get their money out following the Euro collapse. The winner is the one who defeats the angry mob and gets his (or taxpayers’) money. Dumb TV Channel, Christmas Eve.
The Odd Couple. Jo Brand plays German Chancellor Angela Merkel in this screwball comedy about monetary and fiscal union, with Richard Wilson as President Sarkozy, and Barbara Windsor as saucy Carla, the “other woman”. GPI TV Christmas Day.
It’s Not a Wonderful Life. Classic weepie about an angel missing an appointment to rescue a banker from suicide after financial meltdown. Overpriced DVD from Waitsbury’s, Tescorrisons etc. Buy it before Christmas to guarantee it will shortly be free with the Daily Mail, or broadcast on TV.
Beauty and the Geek Masterchef Christmas special.
Ex LibDem MP Lembit Opik cooks Christmas dinner at an exclusive girls finishing school in Eastern Europe and discovers exciting things to do with cheese. Eurofood Channel, Boxing Day.
The Ultimate Morecambe and Wise Christmas show. Edited highlights from the legendary 1977 show, with a commentary by Michael Grade, Dennis Norden and Barry Cryer. All channels, endlessly.
Downturn Abbey. Series 3 fast forwards to the 2010’s where the abbey is now a seedy theme park and Matthew (now the Earl) fights off attempts by elfin safety police to force him to clear up lethal pine needles in the grounds. Lady Mary runs naked through the library in protest. Channel 44, repeated ad nauseam. Also on DVD.