Sir George exits stage left

Our exclusive and aristocratic flat racing correspondent Sir George Paddock has let himself down badly today with a miserable return on investment on the third day of Royal Ascot. Sir George, explain please -Ed

 Well, that’s racing for you! Despite the best efforts of my team here and at Ascot, harvesting some of the best racing information its possible to obtain and distilling it into a shortlist of likely winners, the omens were against us. The rain, the thunder and the water laying on the track did nothing to improve the performance of our selection and St Leger, the patron saint of racing, did nothing for us either. Our result was as follows:

1315 Global Storm 3rd

1350 Fox Tal 6th

1500 Modern News 5th

1640 Seperate 11th

The return on our investment of £15 was a handsome 90 pee, not quite enough to buy a packet of Cheeselets in the Half Moon, if only you could. Still, what’s done is done. Better luck tomorrow, what?

There is no tomorrow. You’re fired! -Ed

Sir George Paddock, not amused, captured at an earlier
race meeting when his horse failed to win

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