{"id":1329,"date":"2011-11-09T09:08:53","date_gmt":"2011-11-09T09:08:53","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/horsington.blog2.idnet.com\/?p=1329"},"modified":"2011-11-14T09:45:03","modified_gmt":"2011-11-14T09:45:03","slug":"silas-silages-gardening-diary-november","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/horsington.blog2.idnet.com\/?p=1329","title":{"rendered":"Silas Silage’s Gardening diary – November"},"content":{"rendered":"

Silas Silage has been hobnobbing with the celebrities at the BBC, no less. Ooooh!
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My loyal readers will not be surprised to learn that eventually, in a busy and eventful life, one earns the respect of one\u2019s peers, and enters the heady world of the respected celebrity guru. So it was, when a few weeks ago I answered the phone and a young female voice asked me to confirm my name and address and then asked \u201cIs that THE Mr Silas Silage the gardener?\u201d I confirmed that indeed it was, and she said she was from the BBC, and looking for knowledgeable people to appear on a gardening programme.<\/p>\n

She said \u201cWe\u2019ve got Matthew Biggs, Eric Robson and Bunny Guinness on the programme, so I hope you can come along\u201d. \u201cGuinness?\u201d I exclaimed. \u201cCount me in\u201d.<\/p>\n

As you can image, Mrs Silage went all in a tizzy when I broke the news, and fussed around getting my old green tweed suit out, trimming my ears and nose with some electric jobbie she got from an ad on daytime TV, and making me have a bath.<\/p>\n

The day dawned for the recording, and off I set for the studio in Bristol. I had to leave at six in the\u00a0 morning, such is the state of our transport system. Bus to Cary, then to Shepton, then to Gurney Slade, Radstock, Bath, Keynsham and finally Bristol. It was thirsty work, but luckily I had my trusty flask of beetroot burgundy, and there was an excellent alehouse in Radstock. And several in Bath. And one in Bristol too. Or was it two?<\/p>\n

So I arrived at the studio as darkness fell, tired, but refreshed. The reception area at the studio was very busy, but I found the Gardeners Question Time queue. But surely there would be someone there to meet me? We shuffled forward and I found myself in a large room with black drapes and an eerie silence. I sat down with all the others, but I immediately spotted the mistake. I was in the audience, and I should have been with the experts, who I could see on the stage, shuffling paper and engaging in learned discussion.<\/p>\n

I went outside, trying to find my way backstage. An excited thin young woman rushed\u00a0 towards me and said \u201cThere you are \u2013 we\u2019ve been looking for you everywhere\u201d, and she grabbed my arm and marched me along the corridor. \u201cQuick, we\u2019ve less than a minute!\u201d<\/p>\n

I was whisked into a side room and sat down in a chair. Two girls leapt on me, dapping my face with a yellow sponge, then before I knew it I was propelled into another room with bright lights and a big screen where a hatchet-faced Scottish woman was groaning on and on about something.<\/p>\n

No sooner had I been dumped in a chair when she turned to me abruptly and said \u201cOver to Bristol. What do you think is the cause of the problem?\u201d The Thin One, now adorned with headphones and a clipboard pointed at me with a grand gesture.<\/p>\n

When I\u2019m stuck in a tight place, I always think it\u2019s a good policy to buy time to think, so I scratched my ear and pulled out my beetroot burgundy flask and took a long, thoughtful, nip. \u201cWell\u201d, I said slowly and craftily, \u201cIt depends what you think the problem is. My main problem is that my knees aren\u2019t as good as they used to be, and the moles have been a bit of a nuisance this year\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI just want to bring in the Bishop of York\u201d, said the Scottish woman brusquely, with a startled expression on her face. \u201cWhat do you think Bishop?\u201d<\/p>\n

A purple \u2013clad figure on another big screen beside me came to life, but I carried on. \u201cThe big landowners are uprooting the hedges and destroying the habitat of rabbits, crows, badgers, and the other things we eat.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201c An Englishman\u2019s garden is\u00a0 sacrosanct \u201d I said, taking another pull at the beetroot burgundy, and I was just about to launch into my prepared speech when the Scottish woman started reading from the next day\u2019s papers and said \u201cThat\u2019s all we have time for, goodnight\u201d. Some loud music was played, and the lights dimmed. I fell asleep.<\/p>\n

Later I was awakened by the Thin One who said \u201cThere you are \u2013 we\u2019ve been looking for you everywhere\u201d. I think it\u2019s the only words she knew. She handed me a brown envelope and hurried me towards the exit, and before I knew it, I was out of the revolving door and onto a busy Bristol street.<\/p>\n

In the envelope were five crisp \u00a320 notes. I took another nip of the beetroot burgundy and went to look for a bus. Funny place, the BBC. Funny place, Bristol.<\/p>\n

Silas Silage’s Christmas special, with seasonal recipes and cocktail ideas will be coming in December. You still have time to leave the country! -Ed<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Silas Silage has been hobnobbing with the celebrities at the BBC, no less. Ooooh!                     My loyal readers will not be surprised to learn that eventually, in a busy and eventful life, one earns the respect of one\u2019s peers, and enters the heady world of the … Continue reading “Silas Silage’s Gardening diary – November”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":23,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[794,2768],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1329","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humour","category-silas-silage"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6glYD-lr","_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/horsington.blog2.idnet.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1329","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/horsington.blog2.idnet.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/horsington.blog2.idnet.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/horsington.blog2.idnet.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/23"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/horsington.blog2.idnet.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1329"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"http:\/\/horsington.blog2.idnet.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1329\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1350,"href":"http:\/\/horsington.blog2.idnet.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1329\/revisions\/1350"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/horsington.blog2.idnet.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1329"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/horsington.blog2.idnet.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1329"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/horsington.blog2.idnet.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1329"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}