Sheepish

A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand new BMW came towards him out of a dust cloud. The driver, a young man in an expensive suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out thewindow and asked the shepherd,”If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your flock, will you give me one of them?” The shepherd looked at the man, then looked at his peacefully grazing flock and calmly answered, “Certainly.” The yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IPhone, surfed to a NASA page on the Internet where he called up a GPS satellite navigation system,scanned the area, and then opened up a database and an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he printed out a 150 page report on his hi-tech, miniature printer, turned to the shepherd and said, “You have exactly 1,586 sheep.”
“That is correct, take one of the sheep.” said the shepherd. He watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his car.

Then the shepherd says: “If I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my sheep ?” “OK, why not.” Answered the young man. “Clearly, you are a consultant” said the shepherd. “That’s correct,” says the yuppie, “but how did you guess that?” “No guessing required,” answers the shepherd. “You turned up here,although nobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked, and you know absolutely nothing about my business.

Now give me my dog back.”

Templecombe Church filled to capacity for Gemma’s funeral

Gemma Palmer

Gemma Palmer, tragically killed in a terrible road accident on the night of 22/23 June, was buried in Templcombe churchyard on Tuesday 5 July. A large number of mourners, possibly 300 or more, wearing bright clothing as instructed,  filled the parish church to capacity. It was literally standing room only.

The service was conducted with great dignity and sympathy by the rector, the Rev Peter Hallett, who spoke of the “mess and uanswered questions” surrounding her death, and the undoubted love which many people had for 29 year old Gemma, as evidenced by the turnout at her funeral service.

It was a very sad day for Templecombe and Horsington, and for Gemma’s grieving family, to whom we continue to extend our deepest sympathy.

Maybe someone who knew her well would like to contribute an appreciation of Gemma’s life.

“Oliver” will wow them in Shaftesbury

Horsington’s Chris Bailward has jumped ship from HMS Pinafore to appear as Mr Bumble  in Shaftesbury Arts Centre’s production of Lionel Bart’s musical Oliver, which opens on July 6th.

First staged in 1960, the original Oliver (based on Dickens’ Oliver Twist) ran for 2610 performances, and launched the careers of many young actors, including Tony Robinson of Baldrick and Time Team fame. It had to wait another 17 years for a revival, and is now a fashionable choice for many amateur performances.

The Shaftesbury summer shows are very accomplished and popular, and booking is advised.

Box Office
01747 854321  Or book on line

The Show runs from July 6 -9 and July 13-16 at 7.30 pm. There is a matinee performance on Saturday 16 July at 2.30.pm.

Shaftesbury Arts Centre is at 13 Bell Street. Use the Co-op car park.

Music Night – 6 July at the Half Moon

The friendly and relaxed Half Moon Music Night continues on Wednesday  6th July at around 8.45 p.m. in Horsington. Please come and join us to play, sing and say whilst enjoying a beer; it is completely free apart from the drinks. Further details from Anna 01963-370749.

Dogstapo tactics

DogNot everyone likes dogs, we admit, but bad dog behavior and fouling don’t seem to be a major problem in Horsington or the Cheritons.

So why have notices gone up around the villages warning that from July 1st dogs must be put and kept on a lead when an authorised officer of the South Somerset District Council directs you to do so?

Who is an “Authorised Officer”? On what grounds can he or she make this order? We are not told. (Presumably when  officious jobsworths think a dog is about to bite them –Ed).

From the same date, anyone who fails to clear up their dog mess on any public highway or open space (not private land) is liable to a fine of £1000. Yes, £1000!

How are the fantasists at Brympton Way going to enforce this legislation? Will there be a poopy patrol? A turd hotline? At what cost? Supposing you don’t have a spare £1000 lying around and you have run out of polythene bags? Anyway, shouldn’t  you be using biodegradable paper bags instead?

And, having taken the offending mess home, squelching in your pocket, which bin do you put it in? The green one? The black one? The brown one? Maybe someone in authority will explain, and at the same time tell us why the council does not have better things to do with their time and our money.

Tell us what you think -Ed. And what about the horses?

Inside Brympton Way

Fat catNewly elected district councillor for Wincanton Nick Colbert has begun to spill the beans on what goes on inside the SSDC’s offices at Brympton Way. In the Wincanton Window, he writes amusingly and penetratingly on the culture which pervades the organisation, which has the highest council taxes in Somerset. Well done Nick, keep it up. Well worth a read. Councillors Wallace and Inglefield,  please copy.

Tragic road accident claims a much-loved victim

Gemma Palmer, a young mother from Templecombe and a very popular worker at the Half Moon, was  killed in a terrible and tragic traffic accident on the night of Wednesday 22 June.

It is almost impossible for anyone who knew Gemma to come to terms with this terrible news. The Blog sends its heartfelt condolences to Gemma’s husband Greg, and their three young daughters. Gemma was  pretty, popular, kind,  generous, vivacious, a great mother, and good at her jobs (she was also a part time hairdresser). She will be deeply mourned and missed by all her friends and customers at the Half Moon, and elsewhere in the village.

 

Village Hall supper

Plenty of advanced notice that St Margaret’s Village Hall Committee have fixed the date for the annual supper for 24th September 2011.  The theme has yet to be officially announced but the Blog’s stringers say that it may have something to do with rowing all depends upon how you pronounce it (Ed)